My Siamese-twin-separated-at-birth-at-the-chest-and-she-took-all-the-boobs Jillsmo
Hey there, hot stuff!
of Yeah. Good Times. has convinced fellow bloggers to post things they are ashamed of, because she has all kinds of sexy persuasive powers like that, and I looked at these posts, and I gotta tell you, I am not impressed. Piles of laundry, dirty and/or clean? A messy table? Toys strewn everywhere? Ladies, puh-leeze.
Have a gander at this:
I don't know what all that shit is. I think I recognize a chair frame from an abandoned upholstery project from two years ago.
And then there’s the other end of the room.
Did I mention I have four--FOUR dogs? There used to be tile on the floor. Not sure what happened to that.
And I can’t forget to show you the ceiling!
I think that's what they call black mold? Or maybe it's just mildew? There was a roof leak, apparently?
Told ya. Y’all think y’all are all so shameful with your untidy back carseats and slipshod laundry habits. Hah! I should be so blessed to have such paltry messes with which to contend.
Now, you are probably wondering how things came to this sorry pass. Not on my watch, I assure you. The fact is Husband and I moved to a loft in the city for a while, but then I had a nervous breakdown and quit my job and we couldn’t afford downtown living, so we returned to the homestead in the sticks. In the meantime, the family manor had been left in the custodial care of Younger Son. I should have known better. This is, after all, the young man who at age thirteen stored his urine in empty Gatorade bottles in the back of his closet.–Until I found out about it, that is. Time (he’s 21 now) obviously has not improved his slovenly ways.
POST SCRIPT As of this writing, Younger Son and Husband have tackled the Filth Formerly Known as the Family Room. I haven’t peeked yet. I’ll keep you updated.
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Hah wow. That’s quite… interesting looking. If I really wanted to show my dirty-ness I would have taken a picture of my shower/bathtub. But then everyone would have thrown up and unfollowed me and wouldn’t have any readers left. Le sigh.
Now see, my bathroom tends to be the cleanest room of my house. It’s also the easiest to clean, because it has just been redone. I should post pictures of it, so y’all don’t think I live in complete disgustingness.
You win. Nothing will top this. Everyone else can just stop now.
I applaud your bravery in exposing your shame.
Well, that’s putting a positive spin on it. I’m BRAVE. hahahahahahahaha
Hoard much?
Nope. Well, maybe the boy. Or maybe he just doesn’t know where the trash goes? Or he’s just too lazy to get the trash to where it goes. One of those.
Yep, you win! Does that mean we all have to come help?
YES!!!! That’s EXACTLY what that means!!!
Oh no! Hopefully the clean up is going smoothly.
Fits and starts. I’ll do an expose on my yard next.
Okay…so we can give you the ‘win’ but I have to point out that OUR shames are things we live with and in every day whereas yours was generated in your absence!
The ceiling did make me gag. I have a real thing about mold
But I’m having to live with it NOW. For the time being, at least. And it IS shameful.
that looks. . . um. . . nice.
My wife’s office looks worse than the first picture. . . but I don’t really have anything that can compare with your deadly black mold issue.
Do you think it’s black mold? I don’t think it’s black mold. Husband’s a biologist and he doesn’t think it’s black mold. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t tell the Health Department.
YOU WIN! And I am sorry Jilly and I stole the boobs.
I’d rather have a clean house than boobs.
EWWW. Your house is GROSS
I TOLD YOU IT WAS. But the shit carpet is gone. Mostly. Maybe. I don’t go in my son’s room. God knows what sci-fi horrors lurk in there.
that is a truly impressive mess.
and ALL THE MOULD!
I think you mean, “ALL THE MOLD.”
Oh, wow. How did I miss this? I don’t think it’s black mold, but it could be mold…or maybe just mildew, like you said. I don’t have a degree in anything scientific, but I do watch a lot of house-flipping reality shows.
I think we’d all be dead if it was really black mold. My husband has a biology degree and he says it’s not black mold, but he doesn’t know what it is. Alien life form, most likely.