This is not a real post, because I am tired, and I might have to go take another shower, because I still feel like roaches are crawling on me. There’s no such thing as microscopic roaches, is there? Please say no.
The Husband and I have been cleaning his mother’s house for the past two days. I won’t go into that adventure in great detail at this time, but suffice it to say, we are no where even close to being finished.
And I have had to get in the shower and scrub myself vigorously, including my hair, as soon as I get home every day, which annoys the shit out of me because I fucking hate to wash my hair. Seriously, I’m like a little kid about washing my hair. It’s long and thick and takes forever and a day to dry and ordinarily I can go two, three, even four days without washing it and it doesn’t look, smell, or feel dirty at all. One of the few perks of getting aged. Who knew? Your hair never gets dirty when you get old. Unless you have roaches and roach detritus falling in it all day.
I just made myself throw up and it wasn’t just a little.
So anyway, I was in the shower, because I couldn’t talk Husband into bathing me like I was at a fancy spa and he was a fancy spa worker (he claims to be even more tired than I. Fucking lightweight). Usually I do some of my best thinking in the shower, but this evening I was thinking things like this:
This particular shave gel is specified “for bikini area.” Huh. Do people really buy shave gel to use just for their bikini area? I use this on my legs. Is that wrong? Am I going to be fined by the shaving police? WHO BUYS DIFFERENT SHAVE GELS FOR THEIR LEGS AND THEIR BIKINI AREA? Or could the legs be considered part of the bikini area? It is visible when one wears a bikini, after all. Do I even know what the bikini area is? Maybe I’m thinking bikini line. Because, seriously? If I used this stuff just on my bikini line, it’d last me, like, ten years. It’d probably evaporate before I could use it all shaving my bikini line. I have maybe three hairs there. But probably bikini area and bikini line are different. Somebody please explain this to me. I’m thinking the bikini area could include the hoo-ha region? In that case, this would last me seven years. Yeah, I have about thirty hairs in that region. Don’t hate. The hairs on my face more than make up for my good fortune in the lack of hair on my snatch. No kidding, I have my retirement plans set. Sideshow worker as the bearded lady. Lots of people travel when they retire, right? I’ll be traveling AND entertaining the masses. Win-win.
So this is not a post. It’s an informal survey, if you will. Does anybody use different shave products for different parts of their bodies? And what do YOU consider the bikini area?