Goddammit, I made myself cry. I fucking hate when that happens.

August 13, 2012

I should still be cleaning stuff. I spent the weekend at Alice and Shrek’s house tending Hellbaby there because despite our best efforts, the fleas continue to rule unabated here. They don’t bite us for some reason, but they eat her alive. Yuck. Damn global climate change.

So, while I was away, the terrorists (aka the people I live with and all these motherfucking dogs) were winning. Or losing. BECAUSE THEY LET A GODDAMN SKUNK UNDER THE HOUSE. Seriously, four dogs couldn’t deter a skunk? Skunks are ballsy little bastards. I guess they have the right to be. I mean, here I sit, sweaty and smelly and I am loathe to go into my own bathroom and shower because it reeks of eau de Pepe le Pew.

The house is a little cleaner. I got the kitchen back under control from Younger Son’s latest cooking venture. He made chili. He makes excellent chili. He also makes a godawful mess. I don’t bitch too much at him or at the Husband, who is also messy, because after all, they pay the bills around here. I’m just the freeloading tenant. My contribution to the household shall be bitch-free cleaning. I think it’s a good trade.

I should also be working on my guest post for Whacamole Mom. Best no more said about that here. You’ll understand later.

I’m feeling tired, not so much from the herculean task of kitchen cleaning, but from remembering that tomorrow I will be riding in a moving truck for six to seven hours. After packing up Elder Son and Mrs. Elder Son to move six to seven hours away (MapQuest say six hours, but Elder Son, who has actually driven the distance, says seven hours). It’s not even the work involved that’s making me feel tired. It’s the feelings that are making me tired. I’m already missing them, which is silly, seeing as how I don’t see them but once a month or so anyway. But knowing they’re around, less than an hour’s drive away. . . It makes a difference somehow. And it’s more than geography that makes me miss them. It’s like they are starting their real grown up lives now, which is also ridiculous, because they’ve both been independent living-on-their-own-paying-their-own-bills young persons for years now. My son has been to war, for sonofabitch politicians’ sake.

Maybe it is the geography. You would think I would have had this feeling when they got married. But even then I still had the sense of being “mama,” knowing that if my boy needed something he could call me and I could be right there. Or his dad. Or his other dad. Or his other mom. Or any of the other many family members that live in the vicinity. Now they’re going to be out of the vicinity. Anyone‘s vicinity. Six to seven hours away from family and friends.

They’ll make new friends. They might even extend their family. I’m not worried about them. I’m not worried about them at all. They are smart and hard-working and sensible and in love. I’m proud of and excited for both of them. They’re ready for this. I’m just not sure I am.

 

They look ready, don’t they?

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Carmen August 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

this would have been a perfect picture for your photo-bomb.

Jokes aside, I totally get it. 7 hours is a long way… you’ll get through it!
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Toni August 13, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I have the opposite going on… My mom moved to TN which is 9 hours away. So I feel sad and abandoned :/ I know how you feel just in the opposite shoes. I’m the baby girl that she could come and visit and take care of my kids while I go braindead for a while. My momma doesn’t do a lot of driving so it’s not like she can just whisk herself away from her new life and visit me. My car won’t make it that far. Hugs to you Handflapper!

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This One Time at Art Camp August 13, 2012 at 5:06 pm

They look precious ((HUGS)). 🙂

xoxo
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Amy August 13, 2012 at 8:31 pm

They are adorable – what a great photo! They are ready, and you will be, too. And seven hours isn’t that bad! I’m 4 hours from my family and still see them quite often – and that’s only a few hours more!
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Marianna Annadanna August 15, 2012 at 8:51 pm

That pic is gorgeous and it sounds like they’re happy. Don’t worry. They’ll still need you now and then and they’ll miss you too.

Also, I can’t believe you clean their mess. You’re a much better woman than I. Of course I already knew that.
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Sanstrousers August 16, 2012 at 8:10 pm

What a beautiful couple! It’s gonna be okay, mama!
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Lucy Ball August 24, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Wow. What a nice looking couple! I have a hard time watching kid movies like Madagascar without bawling all over myself and the theater patrons in front of me. I have NO idea how I’ll handle their moving out or away. Crying is such a downer.
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