Today my husband burned a bunch of trash, cleaned the kitchen, made potpourri, bathed the dogs, kept the Hellbaby while Alice and I went shopping, cleaned the bathroom including mopping the floor, fixed the bathroom ceiling that was falling down for some reason (old house, that’s the best reason I can think of), cleaned and swept the living room, washed four loads of laundry, made a simple syrup and then made lemonade from that syrup, and is currently making dough for a homemade pizza for our dinner. Oh—he also made these from the plastic seals he cut off of jar lids for a project I’ve been working on.
Today I wrapped two birthday gifts for Alice’s niece, went to Target with her to buy a new car seat for Hellbaby, went out to lunch (while Husband was keeping Hellbaby) with Alice (thanks for lunch, Alice!), helped Alice get the new car seat adjusted to fit Hellbaby and get it in Alice’s car, and finished my upcycling project with the Yankee candle jars I rescued from my monster-in-law’s house.
I also drank some delicious lemonade. Oh, and I took a shower, and I even remembered to put on moisturizer, which I found while half-ass organizing the bathroom since I had all those new canisters to put shit in.
The point is, I obviously suck as a human being and my husband is some kind of goddamn superman and he better cut that shit out because I’m tired of him making me look so fucking bad.
PS Just kidding, honey. You’re awesome and I love you and when is that pizza going to be ready? I’m STARVING.
UPDATE Here’s the pizza. And no, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s CUSTOM MADE. Younger Son, the weirdo, doesn’t like melted cheese (I know, I KNOW, I did the best I could but sometimes they still turn out wrong), so he eats only crust and sauce. My part of the pizza has tons of veggies and husband’s is piled with sausage and pepperoni.