Sometimes we only have one in us.

October 19, 2012

Husband and I were washing dishes, Hellbaby was in the living room watching Sesame Street  on Netflix as she does every night before bed while she’s here (actually, she was only watching the Elmo’s World part. When it’s getting late and past her bedtime, one of us fast forwards through a Sesame Street episode and queues up Elmo while she’s in the bath. She never complains. It’s her favorite part, anyway), and Younger Son went to the living room, he thought, to check on the ball game.

Younger Son:  Are you just going to leave her in there watching Sesame Street by herself?

Me:  Yes. You can go in there and watch it with her if you’re so concerned about it.

Younger Son:  I don’t want to. I’m about to go to bed.

Me:  Well, we’re trying to get your mess cleaned up in here.

Younger Son:  Oh, and you can thank me for making dinner while you’re at it!

Me:  Yes, it was nice that you made dinner, but you do make a godawful mess when you cook. You and Joe (Husband) both do.

Husband:  We all do.

Me:  don’t. Have you never noticed there is no mess in the kitchen after I’ve cooked a meal? clean as I cook.

Younger Son:  Sorry, I only have one kitchen cleaning a day in me. [He and Husband both work at a catering company. Husband reports that Younger Son is, in fact, quite the kitchen cleaner. Obviously he turns into someone I have not met when he is at work.]

Me:  Well, anyway, she’s fine. Haven’t you ever heard of using the TV as a babysitter?

Younger Son:  [sounding scandalized] No, I have not! Because I wasn’t raised by the TV!

Me:  That’s because I was a good mama.

Younger Son:  Yeah, and apparently you only had one of those in you. Like I only have one kitchen cleaning in me. [I don’t know what he was trying to say here. I don’t see the parallel at all.]

Then Sesame Street ended and Hellbaby came running in to see what everyone else was doing.

And this is really why we shouldn’t leave her in the living room watching Sesame Street by herself.

 Goddamn TV. It was probably sexting with its boyfriend and not even paying attention to Hellbaby at all.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Jenbug October 19, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Bah ha ha! Just like I have only one shit to give. Or one good wifing to give. Sorry, Mr. Bug. You got screwed on that deal. The shitty first husband, F’n A-hole, got all the good parts.
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drhoctor2 October 19, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Standard comment I love this but I sort of root for Hellbaby to …be…hellacious? she never disappoints.


danielle October 22, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I love this. I love the whole interaction. There is nothing more fun than a pen to a toddler, I believe. My couch is evidence of that….
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Bill Ligon November 5, 2012 at 11:14 am

I’m the old guy in Hot Springs Village and I am trying to become a blogger. I need help!


jo November 28, 2012 at 10:26 am

You already are, Bill. You already are.


Brett Minor (@brettminor) February 16, 2013 at 12:08 am

My daughter once found a bottle of tempura paint and covered herself and the floor around her with red paint. She then fell asleep in the middle of it. When I walked in and found her, I thought she had bled to death.
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Handflapper February 16, 2013 at 10:04 am

OH. MY. GOD. I cannot even imagine the horribleness of that. But since she DIDN’T (OHTHANKYOUBABYJESUS), that’s pretty damn funny.


Rachel May 17, 2013 at 3:22 pm

That sort of thing has happened at my house a time or twenty! Too funny
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