Husband and I were washing dishes, Hellbaby was in the living room watching Sesame Street on Netflix as she does every night before bed while she’s here (actually, she was only watching the Elmo’s World part. When it’s getting late and past her bedtime, one of us fast forwards through a Sesame Street episode and queues up Elmo while she’s in the bath. She never complains. It’s her favorite part, anyway), and Younger Son went to the living room, he thought, to check on the ball game.
Younger Son: Are you just going to leave her in there watching Sesame Street by herself?
Me: Yes. You can go in there and watch it with her if you’re so concerned about it.
Younger Son: I don’t want to. I’m about to go to bed.
Me: Well, we’re trying to get your mess cleaned up in here.
Younger Son: Oh, and you can thank me for making dinner while you’re at it!
Me: Yes, it was nice that you made dinner, but you do make a godawful mess when you cook. You and Joe (Husband) both do.
Husband: We all do.
Me: I don’t. Have you never noticed there is no mess in the kitchen after I’ve cooked a meal? I clean as I cook.
Younger Son: Sorry, I only have one kitchen cleaning a day in me. [He and Husband both work at a catering company. Husband reports that Younger Son is, in fact, quite the kitchen cleaner. Obviously he turns into someone I have not met when he is at work.]
Me: Well, anyway, she’s fine. Haven’t you ever heard of using the TV as a babysitter?
Younger Son: [sounding scandalized] No, I have not! Because I wasn’t raised by the TV!
Me: That’s because I was a good mama.
Younger Son: Yeah, and apparently you only had one of those in you. Like I only have one kitchen cleaning in me. [I don’t know what he was trying to say here. I don’t see the parallel at all.]
Then Sesame Street ended and Hellbaby came running in to see what everyone else was doing.
And this is really why we shouldn’t leave her in the living room watching Sesame Street by herself.
Goddamn TV. It was probably sexting with its boyfriend and not even paying attention to Hellbaby at all.