A text I just sent to my husband:

March 25, 2014

 

I hope you are selling a lot of insurance today because we are going to need at least two more cans of that high-ass paint. I had barely enough to cover the two whole sheets of backerboard and I still have that cut-down piece and I think it all needs another coat. And more mineral spirits. Or paint thinner. Whatever. The paint can says use mineral spirits but the paint thinner got the paint off my hands just fine and everything else I, ahem, may or may not have gotten paint on, and I used the rest of the bottle and most of a jumbo roll of paper towels trying to get the paint roller clean before I gave up and threw it in the trash. Using a roller with that paint is a very bad idea. In fact, the paint can recommends NOT using a roller.—Oh, yeah, get a wide paint brush. With China bristles or some such bullshit? I don’t know; it says it on the can but I left it outside and I am just too disgruntled to go out there and look. Maybe get two brushes if you’re inclined to help. And probably the paint will go farther using brushes, because that roller sucked it up like I sucked up that grape shot last night. Must say, I’m not impressed with the paint. It doesn’t drip or run, true, but the statement that it doesn’t show brush marks is just an out-and-out bullshit lie. But maybe it has to be a China bristle brush. It’s a goddamn conspiracy, I tell you.

Oh—and my elation over the internet being fixed was premature, it turns out. Spotify has been cutting in and out even worse than it was before. “No internet connection.” Gonna be hard to start blogging again if I ain’t gots no goddamn internets.

His response:

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

bournecycle March 25, 2014 at 3:57 pm

I suspect you have a lot of conversations like that.

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Handflapper March 25, 2014 at 5:00 pm

Only because you are naturally suspicious.

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Satan March 25, 2014 at 8:42 pm

i swear, it’s like you read MY phone..

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Vinny C March 26, 2014 at 7:43 am

Yup. I have these types of conversations with my wife. About the only time I give anything more than a one-word answer is when I feel like I can get blog-fodder out of the exchange. Luckily, she hasn’t caught on yet.
Vinny C recently posted..Conversations With Mrs. C – Texts From The Edge.My Profile

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